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YES, OR NO? 

A MUSICAL FARCE, 



IN TWO ACTS. 



BY I7P0C0CK, ESQ. 

The music composed by mr. G. Smith. 



t'ERFORMED WITH UNIVERSAL APPLAUS^ 

AT THE 

THEATRE ROYAL, IIAYMARKET. 



NEW YORK; 



TUB LI SHED BY D. LONGWORTH^ 

At the Dramatic Repository , 
Shakspeare- Gallery, 

1809. 



A 






<^K 



DRAMATIS PERSONiE. 



i 


Haymarket New- York 


Sir Barometer Oldstyle, 


Mr. Grove, Mr, Collins 


Obadiah Broadbrim, - 


Liston, - Doyle 


Charles Fervor, - 


Farley, - Simpson 


William Seagrave, - 


Smith, - Robertson 


Drab, - - . 


- Noble, - Tyler 


Corporal Barrel, - 


Mathews, - Twaits 


Landlord, 


- Atkins, - Hallam 


Waiter, 


Williams, Lindsley 



Bailiffs, - Messrs, Norris, and Truman. 

Soldiers, Recruits, Waiters, ^c. 

MissPenelope^Snap^ M,,_ Davenport, Mrs. Hogg 



Patty Seagrave, 



Miss Kelly y Mrs. Young 



The lines marked with inverted commas, are omitted 
in the performance. 



YES, OR NO ? 



ACT I. 

SCENE I — a room, with desk, account books, ^c. 
DRAB writing. 

enttr OB AD 1 AH broadbrim. 

Oba. Drab. 

Drab. Here I am. (advancing) 

Oba. Is the man, Charles Fervor, departed? 

Drab* Yea. 

Oba. Hem ! verily I rejoice thereat ; for, he is by 
nature, resembling Satan, full of evil deeds — and the 
spirit of the faithful is not in him. 

Drab. Nay, his head is light; but his heart is ster- 
ling, (with energy) 

Oba. When consigned to me, by the man named 
Barometer Oldstyle, his guardian, he was very young ; 
but he encreased not in discretion as he advanced in 
years, and the flesh hath triumphed over the spirit. 
He delighteth in the vanities of the world, associated 
with the men of blood, and learned the business of 
death. In the words of the wicked, he hath become a 
soldier. 

Drab. Yea. 

Oba. He hath now a commission to obtain men, 
and train them in the ways of carnage and bloodshed. 
At the town in v^hich he is to sojourn for this pur- 
pose, I possess some worldly effects. 

Drab. Thou dost ; dwellings, which are rented of 
thee at exorbitant sums. 

Oba. Tis true, the speculation hath succeeded, and I 
reap the reward of industry-, 

Drab. And extortion, (aside) Verily, yea. 

Oba. I have therefore desired the youth Fervor, to 



4 YES, tPocock 

receive ilie rents of a tenant, called Seagrave, who is 
much in arrears, and apply the amount thereof to his 
ov/n emergencies. 

Drab, The man Seagrave hath no money, and the 
man Broadbrim knoweth it. {aside) 

Oba. Had he remained in London, he would doubt- 
less have been entrapped by the men, termed bailiffs, 
from whom I must have released him, — this expense 
is avoided, and the peril of the bailiffs rests on his own 
shoulders. 

Drab. Yea. {rnicch affected, but endeavoring to con- 
ceal it) 

Oba. 1 am informed they are already in pursuit, 
and I have written to the guardian to warn him of the 
youth's abominations. 

Drab. Verily, thou art a viper — the spirit waxeth 
strong within me. {aside, much agitated) 

Oba. I have likewise written to the sister of the a- 
foresaid Oldstyle, by name, Penelope Snap — verily, I 
bear the woman much affection, and shall depart in 
the vehicle whichjourneyethto that place forthwith. 

Drab, {.having appeared violeni/y agitated) 1 can 
hear thee no more — - thou hast basely traduced a no- 
' ble youth, under thy protection, to his guardian, the 
' only friend he hath in existence, sent him to be ar- 
*• rested in the very sight of this friend, by bailiffs 
' whom he cannot satisfy ; for thou hast assured him 
'of the means, where thou well knowest, he cannot 
' obtain it. Thy love for the woman, and thy kind- 
' ness for the youth, is Jiypocrisy.' Thy character shall 
be published amongst Wr brethren, whose sect thou 
hast disgraced by such a flagrant outrage on justice 
and humanity. [e^H 

Oba. {having listened in consterjiation, stands for 
a moment irresolute^ then takes a few steps after Drab 
— stops, turns round, and uttering the ejaculation, 
"• hem" ualks slowly off, opposite) 



Act I] OR NO 6 

SCENE II — PATTY seagraVe in simph mournings 
is seen working at a table ; the appearance of thQ 
room dean, but indicative of extreme distress, 

Pat, Heigho ! how solitary and sad every thing ap- 
pears, I wish WilUam would return ; poor brother, 
his heart is full, and as heavy as mine, (a knock at the 
door) Oh, there he is at last, {opens the door^ 
WILLIAM SEAGRAVE cw^erj", and drops into a chair 
exhausted) 

Pat. (leaning over him) Dear William, you have 
been out a long time. 

fVilL To no purpose. 

Pat. No ; will not mr. Worldly pay the 4^bt ? 
( Willia7n shakes his head) what will become of us ? 

fVill. A prison. 

Pat. Can nothing be done ? 

TVill. Nothing ! starve ! 

Pat. Nay, do not despair. 

IVill. What else is left us ? 

Pat. I can work — 

PVilL Incessantly ! you have supported yourself and 
a sick brother seven weeks — it cannot last. 

Pat. Oh, yes — 

Will. Impossible ! arrears of rent — out- standing 
debts — the apothecary's bill- — (hides his face) 

Pat. You went out very early, brother, I fear you 
are ill. 

IVill. Not very well. I have not tasted food to- 
day. 

Pat. Heaven ! and there is no bread in the house — 

Will. No bread I and you — you have toiled since 
morning without refreshment. 

Pat. I wished for none. 

Will. What's that ! ha ! it shall— it must be so, (a 
recruiting party heard without) 

Pat. Where are you going ? 

Will. Heaven knows ! (half aside) 

Pat. What agitates you^ — let me^-™* 
B 



6 YES, [Pocock 

WzU» No, no, I shall return immediately. Tis the 
last resource ! (aside and exit) 

Pat, Poor fellow, how pale he looks, and he was 
once so handsome: I am sure tis anxiety for me ; and 
yet I try to appear happy on his account, and sometimes 
sing his favorite ballad ; but it sounds more melancholy 
than it used. 

SONG — PATTY. 

On Ella's cheek, the rose was seen — 
The tint was pure, the hue serene ; 
Awhile it bloom'd in beauty rare ; 
But transient was its dwelling there : 
Bright was her eye of heavenly blue, 
Her lips like rubies dipp'd in dew. 
And sweetest melody there hung, 
On the soft accents of her tongue. 

But soon the storm began to lower ; 
It struck the tree that held the flower--^ 
Her lover died, she droop'd her head. 
In sorrow o'er his lowly bed : 
And fading like her cheek's soft bloom, 
Sunk like a lily to the tomb ; 
Still will the tears, soft pity gave. 
Refresh the flowers that deck her grave. 

SCENE III — outside of the Angel inn, 

enter corporal barrel, and recruiting party ^ several 
countrymen with cockades in their hats — drum and 
fife playing the air, " Roast Beef." 

Corp. Huzza, my boys ! if those are not a set of as 
fine recruits as ever carried a musket, my name is not 
Barrel — another such a day's work will make my 
officer a captain ; and, if merit should meet its reward, 
will turn me, a noisy corporal, into an orderly serjeant 
— in boys, in with you, (as they go into the tap enter 

WILLIAM SEAQRAYE) 



Act 1] OR NO 7 

Will, Corporal-- — 

€orp. Hey ! what do ye want ? wlio are ye ? 

Will, An englishman— have been a sailor— would 
be a soldier. ( Will, stands with his hands clasped, and 
eyes fixed on the ground) 

Corp. That's a brave fellow ; he looks like a 
frenchman, for all that; he's as pale and thin as 
soup-meagre ; [ wonder what he lives upon, {aside) 

Will, (abstractedly) Dear Patty ! 

(Jorp. Dear Patty ! the devil ! 

Will. This will be a temporary relief; she has la- 
bored incessantly. 

Corp. Well, friend, here are two guineas. 

Will, For two months, 

Corp. Two months ! 

Will. Tis my turn now — though we cannot find 
the bond — old Worldly may still be induced to pay 
the money. 

Corp. Pay the money ! oh, the captain will give yo^ 
the bounty money. 

Will. He's rich. 

Corp. Not very : but then you'll have 

Will. A hundred pounds —it is nothing to him. 

Corp. A hundred pounds ! 

Will. Twouid be to us — every thing. 

Corp. If you think of getting a hundred pounds^ 
friend, I fear you'll be disappointed. 
' Will, I fear so too. {to the corporal) 

Corp. Well, there's the 'listing money and the 
cockade, however. 

Will, [again thoughtful) Should he still refuse, I 
must write to my landlord— — - 

Corp. {takes out his notehooJc) Where born ? 

Will. In London. 

Corp. Very well, {writes) Where do you live ? 

Will. I have lost the direction, but 

Corp, Eh! 

Will. I think tis m Gracechurch-street. 

Corp, Oh, I didn't know there was such a street ia 
this town, {writes) How tall ? 



S YES, fPqcQck 

JVili, Near the monument 

Corp. 'Sblood he's mad — I must measure him — 

Will' — By the yaspd, the number I think— — 

Corp. How old ? 

Will. Forty-seven - 

Corp (looking at him In astonishment and wri- 
ting) Forty-seven — impossible— 

fVill* Right — exactly, and the name — — 

Corp. (still writing) Ay, the name? 

Will. Obadiah Broadbrim. That will do— 

Corp. Will it ; well, I've put it all down according 
to orders ; but Pll be shot if the captain can make it 
out. 

Will- When must I appear ? 

Corp. At roll-call this evening. But come, come 
In, and have some roast beef and some punch. Were 
you ever found guilty of eating and drinking ? 

Will. Never, while I had a sister perishing for 
want. [exit 

Corp. What the devil can he mean — perishing for 
want ! poor fellow, I am afraid his head^s out of order, 
for he has so bothered me with his description, and 
alarmed me by his behavior, that rot me if I know 
yrhether I stand on my head or my heels. Well, this 
recruiting's fine fun however — such variety — I went 
last night to see the strolling players, dear, dear, how 
they did get on, talking of all sorts of liquors, till at 
last I scarcely knew whether I was in a play-house or 
$1 wine-vault. 

* SONG— BARREL. 

A play-house of liquor, tis found, 
Reminds us, I've instances twenty. 
Some plays much in spirits abound. 
And then we have mellow-drams plenty. 
A manager's draft we all know. 
When business runs dry is no thumper ; 

* For this, and Obadiah Broadbrim's sonis:, in the second act, I am i 11= 
debted to the ininutable pen of George CoUnan, esq. 



Act IJ OH NO # 

But should all his house overflow y 

He cries, damme to-night, I've a lumper. 

A bumper, &c. 

Many actors are certainly ru7n>^ 

And foUcs in the critical line, 

Say comedians are given to mumy 

And tragedians are given to whine; 

Then Juliet tis plain has her heer^ 

To the family vault e'er they've brought her ; 

Fair Ophelia alone tis we hear 

Who poor creature had too much of water. 

Of water, &c; 

King Lear in, the midst qf his court, 
Inquires which way Burgundy went ; 
And Richmond though just come t^ port^^ 
Soon rouses king Dick from his tent ; 
Wliiie Blackstrap Othello the shock 
Of jealousy feels through his brain, 
lago sticks close to his hock 
And tips him a dose of sharn-paino 

Thus a theatre, waving dry facts, 

Is a tavern for critic spectators ; 

And when they are slow twixt the acts^. 

The audience, alas, are the waiters. 

Plays like wines are some sour and some sweet,. 

They please and disgust various throttles ; 

The plays that succeed are call'd neat^ 

And damn'd pieces are all the cork''d bottles, [exit 

SCENE IV — room at an inn — waiters without calling 
-coming, Sfc. a. confusion of dells heard., three doors 
leading to chambers, with names written on them.. 
Lion, Star, Drum — Ueutenant fervor is seen at 
tjie table with papers ^ 

Per. Tliis will do, this will do, this will do — none of 
TFOur humdrum moping, melancholy country village tlus 
B 2 



30 YES, [Poco^k 

—all spirit, life, and bustle, nothing like a populous 
market town to recruit in, bells ringing, {'pulls the bell 
violently) colors flying, drums beating, (waiter witkoutj 
<' coming, sir !") Waiters all attention, by the bye, 
nothing 1 like so much as civility, {xoakey^ crosses the 
stage very quick) Holloa, my fine fellow ! a word with 
you. ^ 

Walt. Coming directly, sir. \exit waiter 

Fer. Impudent rascal ! try again — {rings the hell) 
I shall get every information from the landlord ; he's 
a civil man — see that by his face. 

enter landlord^ looking very angry ^ with a hill of 
fare in his hand. 

Oh, landlord, wished to say^ — much pleased with the 
apartment ; very clean and comfortable — suit me ex- 
actly — [looking round the room zcith nods of appro- 
hiUion to the landlord) nothing like flattery — always 
answers (aside) — very good room, indeed, landlord. 

Land. Yes, sir, the gentlemen of the excise alv/ays 
dine in this room: we expect them in less than half an 
hour, so if you have done writing, sir — (going to move 
ike table J Sfc. ) 

Fer, Stop ; can't you be quiet a moment. 

Land. Impossible, sir, there's company in every 
room in the house. 

Fer. House full ! what's to become of me ? {bells 
ring) 

Land, {hurrying) Bless my soul, I never was so 
hurried in my life. 

Fer. That's right, that^s right, nothing like bustle to 
to keep people alive. Bat where am I to sleep ? 

Land. In the drum, sir. 

Fer. A drum * what d'ye mean ? 

Land. A snug room over the coach office gate. 
{pointing) 

Fer, 'Sdeath, there'll be bustle enough there-v- 
coaches coming in all night, eh? 



Act I] OR NO n 

Land. Yes, and the noise of the cattle all day — the 
market is just under your window. 

Fer. The devil ! 

Land, Yes, and to-morrow the assize begins. Oh 
you'll have plenty of bustle, sir, plenty, (rubbing Ms 
hands) 

Fer. Too much of a good thing I fear, eh (miss 

Penelope Snap heard without) what's that ? an old 
woman ! zounds, show me into the drum, quick ! 
quick ! [exit Fervor with landlord 

en ^er W2 i w p E N E L o p E snap, foUowediby si r barome- 
ter OLDSTYLE — miss P, in a travelling dress very 
much disordered — before they enter miss P. is heard 
on the stairs. 

" The travellers room indeed — I never met with such 
treatment in my life ; tis impossible to put up with 
it." {they enter) . 

Sir B. Pho, dont be vexed — tis unlucky to be sure ; 
but being in a passion, will not make one a jot more 
comfortable. 

Pen. Brother, brother tis impossible to keep one's 
temper, {in great anger) 

Sir B. And yet you have kept your's the same for 
the last fifty years, {aside) (miss P. appears fretful) 
What's the use of being angry, it only puts one in a fe- 
ver — a fever puts one in the hands of the doctor, he 
puts one to bed for three or four months— that's 
worse than being crammed in a stage for three or four 
hours. 

Pen. Impossible ! I dare say I look as red as 

{Imidlord comes out of the drum with a bill of fare) 

Fer. (within) A lobster, d'ye hear. 

Land, Yes, sir — 

Pen. What ! {in astonishment) 

Sir B. Oh, landlord- 
Pew, (crossing between landlord and sir B» in « 
f tsfg-e, and speaking very loud) Hark ye, sir-— 



U YEB, l^Qcoek 

Sir B. Hush, sister, the landlord's not deaf—- 

Pen, I wish you were dumb. 

Land, I hope no offence, sir 

Sir B. Only a little inconvenience. 

P6W. Inconvenience! {turning to landlord) sir ^ 

/^er. (within) Landlord. 

Land. Yes, sir— -(goe^ to the drum) 

Pen. This is. too much. Had you been less partial, 
brother, to that old fashioned wheel-barrow of yours, 
and had it repaired and modernized in proper time, we 
never should have been in this predicament. 

Sir B. Sister, sister, I've told yoyi. a, thousand times 
I hate to barter present comfort for future conve- 
nience — there's an old saying, and a good one too, " a 
bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." 

Pen. And what's the consequence ! 

Sir B. (getting angry) Why this is the consequence, 
instead of lounging in a wheel-barrow, as you are 
pleased to call my carriage, you've been bless'd with a 
squeeze in a modern long stage coach — wedged in 
with ten other miserable mortals, not to mention two 
sick children, a dog, and a large npse-gay, that's mo- 
dern improvement for ye ! modern convenience ! mo- 
dern devil ; but tis no use to be angry. 

Pen. Horrible ! tis well we are incog. I would not 
have it known that sir Barojneter Oldstyle, and his 
sister miss Penelope Snap, travelled in such a vulgar 
way for the universe. 

Sir B. Nonsense ! if necessity requires it, where's 
the disgrace, those that know me, know that [ am an 
honest man — those that dont know me, I dont care a 
pinch o'snuff about — (taking snuff) there's an old 
saying 

Pen. Pshaw, I hate old sayings. 

Sir B. And I hate modern doings — madain, 

enter landlord from the drum. 

Land, I hope nothing unpleasant has happened — 
Pm. Yes sir, something veiy unpleasant has happen- 



Act IJ OH NO 13 

^d ; they pretended the posthorses were all engaged 
for the assizes, and so jamm'd us into your slow wag- 
gon ; a toad in a hole was better off by half. 

Land. Fm very sorry — 

Sir B, That is not all, sir, that is not all, finding 
no chaise was to be had, on our arrival I went instant- 
ly to your abominable coach office — here below, 
^' pray, sir, said I, to the clerk, how many does the 
coach to town carry inside," the fellow answered in a 
breath—-" six before, ten behind, but they are all be- 
spoke inside and out, and no room is left but in the boot 
and basket" an impudent scoundrel, but come, let us 
see the bill of fare, and as we cannot proceed — take 
care that the beds are well aired 

Land. It is very unfortunate sir, but there's not a 
bed in the house but what's engaged, and the captain 
has just bespoke the last article we had left on the bill. 

' [exit 

Pen, No beds ! 

Sir B. No refreshment ! {they look at each other in 
consternation) these are the blessings of an assize. 

Pen, Oh I'm rejoiced nobody knows who we are. 

^ERVOR enters from his room and stops to read the 
direction of two letters^ which he holds ^ one in each 
hand. 

Fer. {reading) Sir Barometer Oldstyle 

Sir ^. Eh ! 

Fer. And who's the other, {looking at the direction 
of the other letter) miss Penelope Snap, 

Pen. Ha ! {screams) 

Fer. What another bustle ! my dear madam, I 
liope 

Pen. Ha ! stand off— you're a witch. 

Per, Am I ? 

Sir B, Who are you, sir ? 

Fer, Hang me if I can tell, this lady seems to know. 
Pray sir, who are you ? 

Sir B. Sir^ you seem to knoiv me^ though yon 



14 ¥SS, [Pocock 

doRt know yourself — for you have just pronounced my 

uame. 

Fer. Eh ! what, sir Barometer Oldstyle ? 

Sit B, The same, and that lady is — 

Fer, {turiiing sharp to miss F.) Penelope Snap. 

Fen, Paa ! (turns from him in anger) 

Fer, My old guardian and his maiden sister by the 

gods; oh ! here will be another bustle, {aside) 

enter corporal barrel. 

Corp, They are come your hpnor. 

Fer. No? 

Corp. Just arrived. 

Fer, Who ? the excisemen ? 

Corp. No, your honor, the recruits. {exit carp. 

Fer, Oh — very well. 

Fen. What ! more company ! 

Fer, Yes, madam, my company — a set of as fine fel- 
lows as ever eat roast beef, {while Fervor speaks to the 
corporal, sir B. takes the opportunity of reading the 
direction of the letter, which Fervor holds carelessly) 

Sir B. That letter, sir, seems to be directed to me. 

Fer. Zounds he must net have it yet, old Broadr 
brim may have told him some of my unlucky pranks. 
(aside) Your agent in town, sir, did me the honor of 
entrusting me with a letter (giving it reluctantly) am 
happy in having the opportunity of delivering it sq 
early, (aside) Here'll be a bustle. 

Sir B, Worthy fellow ; yes, see tis his hand wri- 
ting, where are my spectacles ? 

Fer, What the devil's to be done now ? I'll invite 
^em into the Drum — it's well the bed turns into a sofa 
or the room would not hold us all. (aside) Madam, 
permit me to intreat you'd do me the honor to make 
use of my apartment, till you can be better accommo- 
dated — it's small to be sure, but shug — and remarkably 
quiet. 

Fea. Sir, your politeness -(curtsies) 

^er. My dear madam — urn — urn— (A'ij^e5 h^rhand). 



Act I] OR NO la 

Pen. {aside) How infinitely elegant ! 

Fer. Allow me to show you the door. 

Pen. (giving her hand) Oh — how superior (o old 
fashion politeness, is the elegance and ease of modern 
manners. [exit 

Sir B. {having opened the letter^ and holding his 
spectacles across the paper ^ read.s) 
" Friend, 

" Before you have perused many lines of this epis- 
tle, thou wilt be struck" 

Fer. {slapping sir B. on the shoulder) This is the 
way, sir Barometer, (pointing to the door) 

Sir B. Then it's a damn'd bad way, sir, what d'ye 
mean? 

Fer. Miss Penelope has done me the honor to ac- 
cept the use of my apartment, and an invitation to 
dinner. I am sorry I cannot express my feelings with 
sufficient strength — — but — — ^if 

Sir B. Sir, you express your feelings stronger than 
any man I ever knew in my life. 

Fer. I fear accommodation in the house is engaged 
— could I enforce any other arguments — I 

Sir B, Sir, I beg you'd not be at that trouble — those 
you have already made use of, are irresistible, I'll 
attend you directly, sir. {looks again at the letter) 

Fer. Oh ! that unlucky letter — (aside) 

Sir B. " Friend, 

" Before thou hast perused many lines of this 
epistle, thou wilt be struck — (stops^ and looks rounds 
as if expecting another attack) struck dumb with an- 
ger and amazement." Eh ! " but I beseech thee, let 
not the violence of thy ward move thee." 

Fer. {having walked about in agitation^ pulls sir 
B. along suddenly) Come, sir Barometer, dinner's on 
the table — plenty of time to finish your letter after. 

Sir B. Well, well, some other time — but I'm very 
anxious 

Fer, So am I— for my dinner. 



U YES, [Pocock 

enter zcaiter from the Drum. 

fVait Every thing is ready, sir — 

Fer. What, the lobster ? 

Wait. Yes, sir, and the lady — lexif waitet 

Sir B. That's right — I'll be content with the lobster 
— you may take the lady ; o, you'll find her a delicate 
morsel. Hark'ye, sir, there's an old saying 

Fer. I know it — " what's one man's meat, is anoth- 
er man's poison." 

Sir B. No. That^s not it 

Fer. Yes, it is — ha, ha, ha ! cdme along. 

Sir B. No. 

Fer. Yes. {talking together ^ Fervor pulling in sir 
B.) Zounds, here's a bustle. {exeunt 

END OP THE FIRST ACT. 



ACT II. 

SCENE I — the sign of the Angels inn^ tap-room^ 

enter broadbrim. 

Oba. Verily, my spirit is much fatigued, and I am 
weary with the length of the journey — but the conduct 
of Drab, my clerk, made dispatch and expedition in- 
dispensible. Now, shall I wed the woman called Penel- 
ope Snap, or not ? verily, yea, for she is wealthy, al- 
though she be waxen in years, and corpulent as a cou- 
sin german of the man called Lambert. 

SONG — BROADBRIM. 

When wise man cleaveth to woman's side, 
He always chooseth a wealthy bride ; 
Then fat as mud, or thin as death, 
He taketh her and marrieth. 

Foddle e di dolj &c. 



Act II] OR NO If 

Oh what is love, that can't keep house ? 
Or what's a spouse without a souse ? 
A rosy cheek, it fadeth fast ; 
But England's three per cents, will last; 
Foddle e di dol, &c. 

They talk of dimples, and what not : 
A dimple boileth not a pot. 
Then let me read in woman's face. 
Some lines to mr. Henry Hase. 

Foddle e di dol, &C* 

enter post-boy with a portmanteau. 

Post B. Where will your worship please to have the 
portmantit taken ? 

Oha, Deposit it any where, friend, so it be not de~ 
filed, {post boy places it at the tap-door) 

Post B. I hope the spirit will move the old buck to 
be generous, {aside) Driver, please your worship, (ia-* 
Icing off his cap) 

Oba. I had forgotton — there is half a crown.^ 

Post B, I hope your worship will tip a crown. 

Ob a. Tip a crown ! 

Post B. It's a bad stage, and I put 'em along. 

Oba. Put 'em along! verily, he speaketh the lan- 
guage of the prophane, which I comprehend not. — • 
Friend, the money is sufficient, I will give thee no 
more. 

Post B, Pray — your worship. 

corporal barrel ew^er^ from tht tap^ and stops to 
read the direction on Obadiah Broadbrim'' s port- 
manteau, 

Corp, I'll soon be with you my lads — must brush the 
captain's cloak. 

Oba, (to post-boy) Thy appeal is in vain, my resolu- 
tion is fix'd. 

Post B, D — d stiif-rump'd rascal. {exit 

Corp. {reading) '^ Obadiah Broadbrim, Grace- 
C 



18 YES> [Pocock 

church-street." Oh — it belongs to the recruit I listed 
this morning, (noise of jollity in the tup) 

Oba. I hear the sounds of revelry and riot. Friend 
(to Corp.) wilt thou convey my baggage to a place of 
safety for me ? 

Corp. {looking with astonishment at Ohadiah)^^ 
Your baggage ? 

Oba. Yea — friend — mine. I will reward thee. 

Corp, {rubbing his eyes) Well, I know the punch 
lias made me a little muzzy — therefore, I am not my- 
self the same man I was in the morning ; but, may I 
never drink punch again, if my recruit there, is not al- 
ter'd more than I am. 

Oba. This man of war, I should guess appertaineth 
unto the youth Charles Fervor, {aside) 

Corp. And yet he looks more like forty-seven than 
he did in the morning, (aside) Well, you'll make a 
fine stout soldier, and I am glad to see you — though I 
did not expect you quite so soon, (shakes Obadiah 
violently by the hand) 

Oba. Nay, friend, I beseech thee — verily, the fumes 
of strong liquor hath drawn a veil over his eyes, and 
he taketh me for one of his recruits — he deceiveth 
himself, the fault resteth not with me — and I will 
therefore benefit myself, and further my designs by the 
information which I may extract from him, concern- 
ing the conduct of the youth Charles Fervor. 

Corp. {aside) What a devilish good military hat 
his will make when it is smartly turn'd up, and a cock- 
ade stuck in it. 

{ Soldier from the tap calls) Corporal — corporal Bar- 
rel — make haste — we've just attacked t'other bowl. — 
{shouts of laughter^ Sfc.) 

Corp. O — ho — have ye so — come along Broadbrim — 
we'll soon make a soldier of you; here clap the cap- 
tain's cloak on, (corp. throws it over him) it's lucky 
I happened to have it, there, now for your hat. {offers 
to taJceit) 

Qba^ PfSLy, friend, let my beaver remain— I rejoice 



Act II] OR NO 19 

greatly at this disguise ; iriy character, as one of the 
faithful, will not be scandalized, (aside) 

Corp. Come along, my lad of wax. 

05a. (follows corp. shouts of merriment — Oba. stops 
suddenly and walks back) When I hear the shouts of 
drunkenness and debauchery — I wax fearful. 

Corp. Come along, my boy — come along, Broad- 
brim. 

Oba. Hum — (fearfully, and drawing back) [exeunt 

$€ENE ii» — ^rUer miss p. snap, and sir b. with th% 
letter in his hand. 

Sir B. These are the precious effects of modern ed- 
ucation — ^these are your town morals — these are your 
fashionabie accpmpiishments. Oh ! I shall break my 
heart. 

Pen, I wish you'd read the ietter first. What can 
possibly be the n^itter ? 

Sir B. Matter \ matter enough, madam — to think 
after all the care Obadiah took of him, when I expect- 
ed to find him possessed of every noble feeling, educa^ 
ted in every virtue, and tree froni every vice — -to have 
bim returned to me with a catalogue of crimes^ — — 

Pen. {impatient) Will you read the letter or not? 

Sir B. Yes — no— yes — I have read it once, and i^ 
has half kill'd me — 7— 

Pen, Ah, well, read it again then, and I shall he sa- 
tisfied. 

Sir B. What ! — there's an old saying . 

Pen. Give me patience, brother. 

Sir B. How can I ? I have no^e myself; 1 am half- 
frantic with rage, disappointment, and vexation, and 
you ask me for patience ; but I'll not be in a passion, 

it's no use — he's not worth it, he's not worth it 

{prepares the letter) 
' Pen. Now then 

Sir B. " Friend," there, there, read it yourself^ 

j-ead it yourself. (shB takes ike letter aside) 



20 YES, [Pocock 

Fer, (without) D'ye hear, tell the recruits not to 
make such an infernal bustle. 

PVait, Yes, sir. 

Fer. And tell corporal Barrel I want him. {enters 
looking at papers^ and not seeing sir Barometer) 
Bravo ! nothing like business to keep a man alive. 
Sir Barometer has read the letter by this time— it's 
well I got into his good graces before he knew me : I 
dare say old buckram has enlarged on some of my 
boyish follies. 

Sir B, Boyish follies ! swindling and seduction, boy- 
ish follies ! {aside) oh, you scoundrel— — • 

Fer. What, you've read the letter ? 
, Sir B, I have, sir~r — 

Fer. So I thought. 

p€,n. {coming forward) I dont believe a syllable. 

Fer. That's right. 

Sir B It's ail true. ^ 

Fer. That's wrong. 

Sir B. Did'nt you this instant acknowledge it? 

Fer. No ; till I know my accusation, why should I 
plead guilty ? 

Sir B, That's true — {aside) well then, answer me ; 
in the first place, hav'nt you seduced the daughter of 
old Seagrave of this very town ? 

Fer. What ! my sweet, charming, innocent little 
Patty — no, by heaven, I love her too well ! 

Pen. I thought so — and Obadiah is an old crab-^ 

Sir B. Madam, he's my friend. 

Pen. Paa ! then there's a pair of ye, 

Sir B. But I'll ask old Seagrave myself, 

Fer. He won't tell you a word about it. 

Sir B. I'll go to him, sir {threatening) 

Fer. You had better st^y where you are, sir. 

Sir B. Why, for what reason ?■ 

Fer. He has been dead and buried these two months. 

Sir B. Dead ! poor fellow — your conduct has kill- 
ed him. 
Fer. Perhaps so— I called in the doctor. 



Act 11] OH NO 2} 

Pen, Well, and what effect ? 

Fer. In a week he was incurable. 

Pen. And what did he prescribe ? 

Fer. Alteratives 

Sir B, {anxiously) And they succeeded ? 

Fer, Yes, in a fortnight he was dead. 

Sir B. And now, to complete your iniquity, you 
must go and distress the pooi: girl for the rent, to get 
her again in your power. 

Fer, Sir, you are too cruel ; you are deceived, upon 
:my honor. 

Sir B. Honor ! you talk of honor ! that are pursued 
by officers, from whom your only chance of escaping 
is by distressing those you have already made com- 
pletely miserable. 

Pen. Dont be in a passion brother, it's no use ^ 
I see very clearly that this is all a contrivance of 
Broadbrim's to injure your ward, for you may recol- 
lect twas one of your wise plans to sign a will with the 
reversion in favor of this old viper. Oh, Fm convin- 
ced he's a hypocrite. 

Sir B, It cannot be, sure, it's impossible ; my 
friend Obadiah Broadbrim ! I'll not believe it. 

enter corporal barrel, quite tipsy* 

Corp, It's very true for all that ; oh, he'll make an 
excellent soldier, he's as upright as a ramrod. 

Pen, Why he's drunk 

Corp. Not very, he's a little cut to be sure — we 
soon made a wet quaker of him. 

Sir B. What the devil does he mean ? 

Fer, Why, Barrel, you're in liquor 

Corp. Your honor's pardon, the liquor's in the Bar- 
rel. 

Fer. No wonder there has been such a noise, you 
have been making merry to some tune. 

Corp. Very pretty tune, your honor ; I've been giv- 
ing 'em " Britons strike home'' — that generally makes 
Si^me noise. 

C 2 



n YES, iPocock 

Pen. He has been drinking spirits- 



Corp. Yes, the Idng-s health in punch ; twas enough 
to put spirits in any old soldier's heart — but water, 
cold water, your ladyship, t would have been the same 
with such a toast, as that in it. 

Fer. Now I can't for the soul of me be angry with 
him (aside) come here, scoundrel. 

Corp. {turning suddexily to sir B.) Dont ye hear 
the captain call ? 

Fer, Attention ! {Barrel starts round) give me the 
orderly book, twas to you I spoke. 

Corp. Tisn't orderly to call any gemman a scoun- 
drel, captain ; my name is not scoundrel scoun- 
drel? {muttering) 

Fer. {looking at the hook) Um — um — um John 

Short, six foot^four ; ha ! why what the devil's all this 
— Obadiah Broadbrim, of Gracechurch-street ! Lon- 
don ! aged forty-seven ! measured by the yard! and 
as tall as the monument ! 

Sir B. What ! Obadiah 

Pen. A quaker a soldier ! 

Fer. ' Sdeath he has not enlisted - ■ 

Corp. Yes, but he has though ; the spirit moved 
him- {making signs of drinking) 

Fer. Confusion ! oh, there'll be another bustle— — -- 
go sirrah and get sober, (to the corporal) 

Corp. I can get sober as soon as any other gemman 

— but scoundreFs a word, captain, that but it's all 

right, I know my duty ; but if any other man had call- 
ed me scoundrel — it's ail right — I know my duty, [exit 

Pen. Now then for your visit to the Seagraves ;— 
from them you may hear the plain truth at once, and 
we shall be able to make our escape from this angelic 
place. 

Fer. My dear sir. here has been some incomprehensi- 
ble mistake— suspend your judgment for awhile, and if 
I do not clear up every thing to your satisfaction — why 
then discard me for ever as a wretch lost to eveiy 
sentiment of honor; and disgracing at once the charac- 



Act il] OR NO 23 

ter of a british soldier, and an english gentleman, {exit 
Sir B. ril not lose a moment — on their report de- 
pends his future fortune. Should he be guiltless, I 
shall provide for him as my own son ; if the charge be 
true — o^ [ shall be in a monstrous passion. \^xeunt 



SCENE in — WILLIAM SEAGIIAVE and PATTY dlS- 

covered — tea things, Sfc. on the table, 

Pat. Indeed, brother, 111 do any thing to please 
you, I'll sing a little ballad I learned while you were at 
sea — you have never heard it. 

SONG — PATTY. 

Far o'er the sea when torn from you, 

And my fond heart beat strong and true — =- 

How swift, alas ! the vessel ilew : 

From Mary. 

^ Refulgent sunk the wearied sun, 

* And o'er the glassy waters shone ; 

' Still it was dark, tor thou wer t gone. 

' Blest Marv. 

Tbe silver wave flow'd soft and clear, 
^nd bright as if reflected there. 
Was seen the fairest of the fair. 

My Mary. 

^ My throbbing heart heav'd many a sigh, 
^ The tear drop glisten d in my eye, 

* And fancy told nie — thou wer't nigh. 

' Dear IMary, 

' But soon thy lovely form had past, 
' And ocean with its swelling blast, 
' DispelPd the dream, too sweet to last, 
^ ' Of Mary. 

Will. Thanks, thanks my dear sister. Oh, woman, 
virtuous and lovely ; even in misfortune's hour, when 



{ 



24 YES, [Pocock 

all things earthly fail, still cans't thou sooth and charm 
us. 

Pat. Ah, William, had you not enlisted, I should 
still have been happy. 

Will. What else could be done ? 

Pat. Any thing, I would have starved, rather than 
you should have gone for a soldier ; I am sure twill 
break my heart. 

Will. Had Charles Fervor indeed known of our dis- 
tress — but alas, he's as poor as ourselves. 

Pat. He said he expected leave to raise a company 
—if so, and he could get his guardian's consent, we 
were to be married, I am sure I love him dearly, he 
was so kind to my poor father. 

Will. I should rejoice to see such a man the hus- 
band of my sister ; but do not, my dear Patty, let your 
mind dwell on an event so uncertain. 

Pat. I am sure Charles vfiW never desert me. 

Will, From his past behavior, tis impossible to 
doubt the nobleness of his nature ; but remember, he 
is intirely dependant on his guardian, who very possi- 
bly may object to his alliance with one so much his in- 
ferior in fortune. 

enter fervor. 

Fer. Here they are, here they are at last. 

Will, and Pat. Charles ! 

Fer. My charming, sweet, lovely Patty. Seagrave, 
my good fellow, your hand. I haven't felt a moment 
of such real comfort since we parted ; but we won't 
talk of that, hang melancholy — kick care to the devii 
— sing to-day, laugh to-morrow ; oh Pm so happy— 
but there's been a devil of a bustle. 

Pat. Dear Charles, what about ? 

Fer. I have such news 

Will What sort ? 

F^r. All sorts ; good, bad, and indifferent — in the 
first place, you must know Pm a great scoundrel 

Will. That's not true. 



Act II] OR NO 25 

Fer, So I say ; next, I've got promotion — leave to 
raise a company. 

W'llL That I rejoice at, what else ? 

enter sir barometer — sir B, stops suddenly on see-- 
ing Fervor, sir £. behind, listens^ and by action 
shows his feelings at the scene. 

Sir B. Oh, there he is. 

Fer, Oh plenty, plenty ; your tender-hearted land- 
lord and my deputy guardian, has ordered me to vrorry 
you for the rent, which if you do not pay, you will in- 
evitably be caged in a jail. 

Pen, Ungenerous, cruel man ! 

TVill. You know, Charles, tis impossible. 

Sir B. {behind, and shaking his stick at Fervor) 
Oh, you villain. 

Fer. To be sure I do, so does Broadbrim ; but unless 
J receive the money, I shall be laid like you in the 
black hole. My company will march to the right 
about, 1 sihall not be able to marry Patty, and — what 
the devil's that ? {pointing to the cockade) 

Pat, Oh Charles. 

JVilL Hard pressed by poverty, exhausted by ill- 
ness, and disheartened by hopeless endeavors to obtain 
a subsistence — as the only means left of procuring an 
immediate supply, I inlisted this morning to the re- 
cruiting party now in town. 

Sir B. {behind) Oh ! [exit 

Fer. What my party, you a soldier ? 

Pat. Your party, Charles ! 

Fer. Yes — but it can't be, his name is not down in 
the roll. 

Pat. Indeed it is true. 

Fer. Impossible — what could induce such rashness ? 
( William turns from him, and Fervor catches his 
hand) 

Will. We had not a shilling in the world. 

Fer. No — no— no money, no food — no — and — Pat- 
ty, William, what the devil ails ye both ? a-aant yo^ 



m YES, [Pocock 

set care at — defiance, and lau-a a-augh at misfor- 
tunes as I do ? {trying to laughy butchoaking with ex- 
cess of feeling) ha, ha ! come, come be alive. William, 
'sdeath cheer up (recovering) come go with me. I'll 
find sir Barometer — tell him the plain story — state the 
facts — produce the vouchers — and I shouldn't be sur- 
prised now, if Patty and I were to marry, raise a com- 
pany, encreasa the standing army, escape the prison, 
bilk the bailiffs, and bother old Broadbrim, so come 
along my boy, {exeunt 

5CEJSE IV — enter corporal barrel and obadiah 
BROADBRIM, witk the cloak on him as before^ his 
kat turri'd up^ and a cockade in it — both tipsy ^ and 
singing. 

Corp. and Oba, Tol lol, de rol, &c, 
€orp. Sing, my boy, sing — — 

DIJET — OBADIAH aW£^ CORPORAL, 

Oba. Of the mighty power of love, 
Corp, Let's sing like jovial fellows ; 
Oba, While the spirit thus can move 
Corp, " Old Rose and burn the bellows," 
Oba. I'll go wed Penelope, 

And to my bosom take her ; 
Corp. I never did his fellow see, 

O Avhat an upright quaker ! 
Oba. Past awhile the wedding joys, 

Should their country need 'em. 

All my little quaker boys 

Shall fight for England's freedom. 
Corp. Then never let a jealous pet, 

Our future friendship sever, 
Oba. While both can sing, 
Corp. " Long live the king." 
Oba. Verily — ay — for ever. 

[exit Obadiah half singing and speaking 

Corp. There he goes, there he goes— ha, ha, ha !-^ 



Act II] OR NO 27 

now that fellow's as drunk as a watchman ; it's quite 
dreadful to think how men can give way to su-u-uch 
hor-horri-horrible habits. However, I should^nt have 
wondered if I had been a little tipsy myself — for they 
made the last bowl of punch with gin, instead of water. 

enter bailiffs, 

1st Bai. Holloa, soldier, can you direct us to cap- 
tain Charles Fervor ? 

Corp. Soldier, indeed ! damn your impudence. I'd 
have you to know, I'm a corporal — Barrel by name, 
and gunpowder by nature ; so stand clear, for I'm pret ^ 
ty well prim'd. , 

2d Bai. Well, good corporal Barrel, can you tell us 
where captain Fervor is ? 

Corp. No, dont know any such person. He's only 
a lieutenant yet. {aside) 

\st Bai, Come, my lad, direct us to him. He ex- 
pects us, I assure ye. 

Corp. Oh, he expects you, does he — that alters the 
case, {corporal catches them zcinking at each other) 
Bums, bums as I hope to be made a serjeant ! — so, he 
expects you, does he? — they are both of 'em shocking- 
ly drunk, so I'll manoeuvre 'em. {aside) Hark'ye my 
lads, if 1 'peach, you'll come down with the clinkum, 
eh — humph ? 

1st Bat. O, yes— we'll drink together 

Corp. Drink ! o fie— no, I'll be more careful of yoii 

—you have drank too much already — no, no now 

I'll do 'em. (aside) If you think it worth while to cut 
with a seven shilling bit, I'll sack the cash and show ye 
the man. 

2d Bai. Give it him, Tom ; they won't mind the ex- 
pense if we can but nab the captain, {aside) 

\st Bai. Well, corporal, here's a crown. 

Corp. A crown ! what d'ye mean by that you son of 
a catchpole — I won't take a tizzy less, and I'll tell yoa 
what, my hearties if you dont this instant down with 
the dust, I'll raise my price — I will. I'll raise my price. 



28 YES, tPocock 

1^/ 5az, Well then, no more words — there's the 
money, now for the man 

Corp. Stop — dont be in such a confounded hurry, 
it is a good one ? {looks at it) 

1st dai. Now then, where is he ? 

Corp. Who ? 

1^*^ dai. Zounds, the officer that's recruiting in this 
town ? 

Corp. Oh, aye, well he lodges at this very house. 

ist bai. How is he dress'd ? 

Corp. You are a pretty fellow to ask how an officer 
is dressed — why in scarlet, to be sure. 

1^^ bai. With a cap ? 

Corp. To be sure — what's an officer without a cap ? 

\st bai. In red, with a cap, very well, [exeunt bailiffs 

Corp. You'll not find it very well, at least I hope so, 
you ugly hounds — eh, eh, eh ! I've manoeuvred 'em 
however— now then I'm off, right — left— steady , " sing 
old Rose and burn the bellows," steady — tol de rol, 
steady steady. 

enter fervor, 

Fea. How now sirrah— I thought I ordered you to 
bed. 

Corp. Yes, and I know it's well for you I did not 
obey orders. You're in the very jaws of the enemy, 
&o the right about, quick march. 

Fer. What do you mean ? 

Corp. The tips are come, and you'll be nabb'd — 
you'll be nabb'd to a certainty, if you dont go directly 
and put on a cock'd hat, and a blue coat, I see you 
are a little tipsy as well as the rest, so if you should 
chance to meet 'em — ^you know me — corporal Barrel, 
pray make use of my name, twill pass you free — free 
as a countersign. 

Fer. So, I shall be arrested under the very nose of 
my guardian, what the devil's to be done ! 

Corp. Obey my orders, change your dress, and you 
are safe— there, make haste, {pushes F ervor) 



Act II[ OR NO »« 

Fer. 'Sdeath and fire, what are you about. 

Corp, A cock'd hat. {still pushing) 

Fer. Zounds, sirrah, you'll be fiogg'd — . 

Corp. In a |3lue coat. 

Fer, Distraction ! 

Corp. Blue coat, &c. &c. [exeunt^ the corporal 

^tlll pushing Fervor^ who endeavors to disengage 
himself. 

'^ ' ■' ii r I I , I III ' - T ■ . 

SCENE V — a room in the inn, 

enter sir bakometek followed by miss p. snap. 

Sir B. Obadiah was right — my doubts are all at an 
end, and 1 am a miserable man. 

Pen. Brother, you torture my impatience. 

Sir B. Ay, very likely, and when your impatience is 
satisfied, your torture will be increased to think that a 
countenance so open, and a manner so ingenuous, should 
be the cloak and mask of deceit and duplicity. 

Pen. Have yoi| been to Seagrave's cottage ? 

Sir B. I have- — — 

Pen. Well? 

Sir B. Why the poor man confess'd he had been 
obliged to enlist as a private soldier in Fervor's com- 
pany 

Pen, O, the reprobate ! 

enter fervor. 

Fer. My dear sir Barpmeter, I am come now to 
explain 

Sir B. Every thing is explain'd sir, I am perfectly 
well satisfied. 

Fer. {seizing his hand) Didn't I tell you so my dear 
sir, how could you possibly doubt me. 

Sir i?. {releasing himself) Sir, I never did doubt 
you — but I have now witnessed your duplicity and 
proved you a profligate. I have done with you, sir, I 
have done with you. 

Fer. Zounds, another mistake ! madam, for mercy '§ 
sa^e plead fur rae. 



SD YES, [Pocoek 

Pen, What can you poissibly urge to invalidate the 
testimony of eyes and ears. 

Fer, A simple tale — only hear me — and 

Sir B, Well, well, it shall be so, proceed sir. 

Fer. It was about two months ago that I first saw 
the innocent girl whose destruction I am so unjustly 
charged with. Amongst those tenants whom mr. 
Broadbrim visited, for the purpose of receiving rent, 
I accompanied him to Seagrave's cottage, I beheld the 
old man enduring patiently the most aggravated suffer- 
ings,* and the son exerting hii last remaining strength 
to procure him comfort and assistance, the daughter 
in sickness and in sorrow, heedless of herself, was en- 
deavoring to soothe the last sad hours of an expiring 
parent. 

Sir B. Well, sir — {agitated) 

Far, Sir, I revered the meekness of the father, hon- 
or'd the conduct of the son, and loved the virtues of 
the daughter. 

Sir B, The fellow has choaked me, {aside) go on, 
sir, proceed if you please — Obadiah relieved them ? 

Fer, (firmly) No, sir, on the contrary, he oppressed 
them. 

Sir B. Still these slanders, produce proof sir, PU 
hear no more 

Fer. Your pardon for one moment. [exit 

Sir B, His manner staggers me, yet, pshaw ! it is 
not possible — if his story could but be true. 

Fer, (without) This way Patty — this way. 

FERVOR enters with wilIjIam and patty 

SEAGRAVE. 

Ha! is it — can it be possible — Charles^ — my boy 
Charles — (here sir B. turns where Fervor stoodj and 
encounters the bailiffs who enters just at this time. 
Fervor having retreated on seeing them) 

Sir B. , So, so, so, my hopes were too sangqine. 
Oh, you are a precious fellow. 

\stbai. {to each other) He's not here. 

2d bal. In red with a cap — no. (they retire) 



Act II] OR NO 31 

Sir B. {after musing) I will not conceal him, he 
shall reap the reward he merits — here officers do your 
duty, that is your man. 

1^^ bai. That, no, no ; we want nothing of him. 

Sir B. No ! 

Fer. (aside) Oh, oh, this is Barrel's blue coat bu- 
siness. 

Sir B. Astonishing ! is it not Charles Fervor you 
are in quest of ? 

1^^ bai. Ay, sure old gentleman, but we are not to 
be taught our business at this time oMay, 

Sir B. Very well, gentlemen, you know best ; but 
remember there's an old saying that 

1^^ bai. Ay, ay, " old birds are not to be caught with 
chaff." 

Sir B. Damn your old birds. Zounds ! 

Fen. [restraing him) Brother, brother— 

Sir B^ Well, well, {the bailiffs retire, and after 
examining the roomy erder the Drum) 
{to Fervor) So sir, this is another of your tricks; but 
1 am not to be deceived. 

Fer. Sir Barometer, it never was my intention to de- 
ceive you. I hope you will believe me when ( say, 
that if I had preferred my own useless pleasures, to the 
gratification of saving a worthy, though unfortunate 
family from destruction, your liberal allowance would 
have been amply sufficient to have discharged every 
debt of my own, and this disgrace had never happened. 

Will. I can prove this to be true, believe me, sir. 

Pat. Indeed he is not to blame. 

Pen. Brother, to disbeheve any longer were down- 
right obstinacy. 

Sir B. 1 am assailed by doubts and truths so strong, 
that I know not what to believe. Oh, if I could but 
see Obadiah — ha ! {here the bailiffs return with oba- 
DiAH from the Drum, and they all start back in as- 
tonishment) 

Pen. Amazement! 

Will. What can this mean ? 



3S YES, OR NO [Pocoqk 

Fer. Ercadbrim ! the devil ! 

Obu, '^ I'll go wed Penelope, and to my bosoin * 
take her," {attempting to get at Penelope) 

Pen, Faa, oh the brute, take him away, take him i 
away. 

Sir B, Take care of him friends, he is not the per- 
tor\ you are in quest of — but I shall pay the debt and re- 
compence your trouble, {exeunt bailiffs with Obadiah^ 
Tcho attempts again to seize miss p, 
Charles, my boy, you have been wronged. 
enter prab. 

Drab. " Yea, verily, he hath, I hastened here from 
the great city to counteract the schemes of the design- 
ing Broadbrim ; but they have already proved abor- 
tive, and my conscience is satisfied. 

Fer, My good friend. 

Drab. Friend Barometer, I am ashamed of what 
hath happened, but we find good and evil among every 
description of men ; and whether found in my own sect 
or those of thy persuasion, I rejoice equally at the tri- 
umph of virtue and the abasement of vice. 

Sir B. Can you forgive me. {to Charles) How 
ghall I reward him ? {to Pen.) 

Pen, Give him a wife, and I will give her a present 
to begin the world with. 

Sir B. Sister you are right — take her my boy and 
heaven bless ye both. Henceforth 1-11 not believe every 
thing that is new, is bad; because I am old — or every 
thing that is old, faultless ; because I was once young. 

Fer, Right, sir Barometer, stick to that, avoid pre- 
judice, and be certain you will always find something 
to palliate, though perhaps not entirely excuse. 

Fearless we hear contending counsels fury,'' 
While truth and mercy guide an english jury 
Boldly receive our sentence ere we go, 
^fcure of justice, be it '^ Yes or No»" 

END OF YES, OR NO. 


















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